You're Running Late, Now What?

 

ON THE BLOG WRITTEN BY LAUREN HORLICK

Running behind schedule was my theme this weekend, and I will be the first to admit that I did not handle it gracefully. I tend to put together a fast-paced agenda that does not always account for unknown variables and hiccups, and this weekend was no exception. We set out for a quick weekend trip with my "perfect" timeline layout, only to be met with unexpected delays and debilitating traffic. Cue the anxiety spike, which included tension, irritability, and worst-case thinking. For many of us, time is a stressor. Time anxiety is a common topic brought up in therapy, as it can be caused by running out of time, being late, not having enough time, not knowing how to manage time, etc. Here are some helpful things to remember when you are running late to help manage anxiety more productively.

Firstly, let's look at ways to help regulate the nervous system. Regulating the nervous system when anxiety spikes helps to shift the body from a fight-or-flight response toward a calmer state, allowing for clearer thinking and emotional balance.

  • Slow down your breathing. Try out breathing such as Box Breathing (4-4-4-4): Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, and repeat until you notice your heart rate starting to slow.

  • Ground yourself. Chances are that anxiety is taking you further away from the present moment. Try grounding techniques such as 5-4-3-2-1

    • Grounding Technique: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 deep breath.

  • Release tension. Anxiety causes muscle groups to tense in preparation for the perceived stressor. Attempt to relax tension through progressive muscle relaxation—Briefly tense and release your shoulders, hands, and jaw to release built-up tension.

Secondly, let's look at cognitive reframing and perspective shifts to help further reduce emotional distress. (I completely forgot to apply this category over the weekend!) Cognitive reframing is critical during anxiety because it helps us shift from negative or irrational thoughts into more balanced and realistic perspectives. Reframing allows for a greater sense of control and a more constructive response to stressful situations.

  • Reality Check Questions. Try challenging your anxious thoughts with these questions:

    • "Have I been late before and survived it?" (Most likely, yes!)

    • "What's the worst that could happen?" (And is it that bad? And am I confusing something that is possible with something that is likely?)

    • "Will this matter in a day, a week, or a year?"

  • Introduce self-compassion. Remember to be kind to yourself. A simple mantra that can be implemented is:

    • "I am doing my best. Being late does not define me. I can handle this moment."

      Another helpful script:

    • "I am doing my best. Stressing will not change the situation, but calming myself will help me handle it better. I am still in control of how I respond."

Thirdly, look at practical strategies to help reduce anxiety and address panic. To prevent anxiety from escalating further, focus on small, manageable steps; these strategies create a sense of control and allow the mind and body to return to a calmer state.

  • Adjust Expectations. Adjust to new information you have; you may be missing the start of something or need to adjust your timeline of events. Call or text to let someone know you're running late, if possible. Many times, the pressure we feel is self-imposed.

  • Prioritize the First Action. Anxiety intensifies the more overwhelmed we are feeling; taking it one step at a time can help anxiety start to slow. Focus on the next step (grabbing keys, getting in the car, sending a quick text, etc).

Lastly, engage in post-anxiety reflection later in the day or the following day. When we reflect, we allow ourselves the opportunity to grow the next time we are presented with a similar situation. Reflection can help rewire automatic anxiety responses.

  • Reflection Questions. Fear is anxiety's driving force. A helpful question to ask is:

    • "What was I afraid of when I was running late? And what was the actual outcome of running late?"

  • Prepare for the Next Time. We will run late again. Identify patterns (e.g., always underestimating time) and make small changes (e.g., laying things out the night before, setting alarms earlier).

It's not fun to run late, and it does not have to bring additional anxiety into the moment. With these steps, we can learn how to implement regulation, reframing, and problem-solving in moments of high anxiety. This is a reminder to myself and others that we will run late again (and again), and being late is an inconvenience, not a catastrophe.

 
Jamy Hunter